Believe much more ---- Mental Health matters

-

Passed so many days and I’ve been in my lowest period. I was so freak out. I take pills for calming down, passed 2 minutes and nothing, took more and more. Somehow I lay down, but when I opened my eyes I was on hospital. They were saving out my life. Something for the heartbeat was on my chest. My pressure was so low. I was crying and wanted to go home. Somehow I fall asleep. Then in the middle of the night I woke up. I was full of energy. The doctors said that my family was outside to visit me. I was so sleepy and saw the pain in their eyes. My older brother was outside the country. Then in my head there was blink of idea. That my brother saw how my parents took me off in the middle on the night on camera. 

 


 

 

My brother is my straight and pain. I love him so much. I couldn’t even imagine how it was to him. So far from home and my so overdose with pills. The next day I was afraid not to lose my job. But my parents were so worried about me. I was going on consoling and visiting doctors. Talking and talking. But I was telling them that I am fine and that I should stop this and go on work. They were amazed of my courage. So when the process of staying at home finished I got fired. I was so devastated. So in hurt. And again I was trying to find some job. But I was not feeling so good. Somehow I started to take care at home. About the yard, kitchen and bathroom and my parents room and mine. Than I realize that is finally STOP for me to find a job. Cause people in this country don’t bother for people with mental illness. We don’t even have some support from the country. I found out my old hobby. Crochet jumpers and socks. Maybe I will try to improve my work with macramé. For sure I will find out something. Believe me. You must find something that dwell your spirit up. Painting, watching tv. Taking care of plans and animals. Cause they were be much more grateful than people. Somehow I started to be grateful. For waking up. Seeing. Using my hands and legs. For every single moment. Grateful that I am here for helping my family. 

 

 


 

 

Yes they are some low moments when I just want to lay down. But I must take a walk. Maybe going in forest. On clean wind. Always remember that you are important. God give you life to live it to the fullest. Be grateful. Take some time and don’t rush. Some little steps. I love to write. Cause I am aware of the number of people who suffer of mental illness. I am here for you. Write me on mail if you wanna chat. stojanovskamirjanamimi991@mail.com

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Never stop believing

-
  When I was little every child was bulling me. At home mom and dad were always arguing. I didn't have any friend. Grand mom gave me a present, one teddy bear. The teddy bear was my only friend I had. Every time I came from school I was with Zik the teddy bear. At night when mam and dad were arguing I was hugging Zik and crying. I try to write in dairy everything I ever wanted. I try so hard not to cry, but it was stronger than me. I didn't have anyone. So I become quiet and disciplined kid. I am Zora and this is my story! I think I had no one to talk to, I had no one to listen to me or even to support me. At 15 I started to work in the cafe. I washed the dirty glasses and the floor. I didn't go out at night to party cause I had no one. One day when I was at school something went wrong. I started to hear some voices. I thought that it was my imagination, talking with Zik cause others were cruel towards me. In a minute I response at loud to Zik, the teacher heard me and aske
Read more

Painful Reality

-
Image
Its autumn morning, there is no sun outside and it looks like it going to rain. I made up the bed and take a shower. With joy I went into the kitchen and make myself a cup of tea. I don’t prefer coffee because I try to live healthy life. Gave my pets something to eat and clean the garden. I took the list that I make yesterday for what should I buy this morning. Turn on the car and went to the grocery store. Took some fruits for me and went into Mrs. Louis house. She is living alone in here 88s. Took care of the living room, toilet and the kitchen. Took her for having a shower and made a breakfast for her. Then made a tea for both of us. We were talking a lot. About life, good manners and about painful stories that bother her so much. She is all alone and I am taking care for her. For I don’t remember which time when I was leaving wanted to gave me money. But with a smile on my face a left the house and said to her that I will come and tomorrow.   The next one was Mr. Joshua.
Read more