Believe and always have faith

 I had many obstacles in my life. Some time ago I thought that the smallest thing that happen bad is just a bad life. Day by day as time passed I saw that many people are unhappy. It was such a pain in my heart.
So I started to be positive as much as I could. But one day I become ill. I found out that I have mental illness and I couldn't help my self out. The most of the time I was in my room. I didn't wanted to speak about it. Cause I knew that it will bring to some pain and for someone evil thoughts. It does not matter.
I started to work but my panic attacks were very bad, my anxious moments were very huge. 
I was finding work, working for some months and could work any more. I was so scared due to the fact that in my country the country does not bother with people with mental illness. There is no some kind of help. As young I was full of live and wanted to see people laughing and trying to do the best to make the moment beautiful. One day I found a book that helped me so much. It was from Osho. Love and life.
In the book it said that we should enjoy in every moment we have. To grab the day and enjoy in the little things. That life is too short and that in the end we will regret for the things we didn't do.
I always wanted to become writer. But my strict father was talking that that kind of job will not gave me money for surviving; Nowadays as I become ill I just want to speak loud. As you can see I wanna write.
To encourage people. I know that there are many who suffer the most.
Six years ago I had lost my uncle. I become very but very angry to everyone. Even to Lord. Why he took my young uncle. He didn't had kids but he was married. I went to church. I was talking to priest so long.
He gave me the holly bible. I watched to youtube a movie with Jesus. I somehow found out that we all have a cross on our back. For some of us is so huge. But we must take care of it. We can't be cruel to each other. Not even to our Lord who gave us life. I started to be grateful for everything. Even in the morning. I was grateful that and today I woke up, I see, I breath. Many years ago I didn't wanna even to live. I was so stressed out. But I found my peace. I started to be gentle. But due to the fact that I have bi polar disorder they are days when I don't even want to get up from bed. Life! Some days are good and some days are bad. But you should know. If something bad is happening you should know that God will give you tomorrow something that you will be grateful for. Maybe a good conversation with your friend. Maybe a good song will be played on the radio. Maybe you will want to look good.
Always remember that you are not alone. And if you feel alone. I will be here for you.